an honest confession

Several years ago I was called to be a missionary. Slowly, I Started quitting anything that could become an obstacle to obeying God in His call. Later, at some point, I was called to train others to go to the unreached nations, again I obeyed. I´ve seen God´s hand at work many times. My Father has never disappointed me. He has been faithful, but sometimes I doubt, I´ve messed up, and here I stand seeing God´s grace working in my life and overwhelmed by His Faithfulness.

By the end of last year I got to travel to Malaysia on a vision trip. The plan was to send some Dominicans to go there and spend 9 months working with an unreached people Group. The travelling was okay and with no issues. I went to the other side of the world and I was impressed when I saw how small this world is. I shared the gospel with others, I encouraged believers, and was renewed in the Spirit. 

Later in February, I was invited to join a church on a mission trip to Zambia. I was not allowed to board the plane due to visa issues. I wasn´t treated very nicely, but that didn´t hurt as much as the fact that I was not being allowed to go share the gospel. I was frustrated. Frustrated and annoyed towards God. I didn´t understand His plans at that moment. I felt ashamed that I was complaining to God for His plans, yet I required and explanation.

How come I´m training Dominicans to go to the nations when it is so difficult for me to get a simple visa? I began questioning those moments in which I felt God leading me in life. I began questioning His voice, his calling and even His promises. 

Then, I embraced God´s promises, not because I wanted to, but because he is everything I have. In my prayers I kept on repeating "I trust you". I, just like Peter, had nowhere to go but to Jesus. I knew, and know, He is faithful, I´m not. 

Four months later, I´m here waiting for a phone call from Gregorio, to tell me he has arrived in the country with four South African visas for my students. God remains faithful, I´ve seen His power and grace lately in a way I have not deserved. Trusting myself and my knowledge has been a temptation and a sin in my life. Trusting God and not my own understanding has been difficult. However; He is still God and He is Faithful to his calling and His promises.

I´m overwhelmed!! God has remained faithful.